These are some methods and strategies to educate the little ones of the house. Parents often complain that their children have a hard time being responsible, or they don't directly understand why they should do their home and school chores.
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| How to help your child be responsible? 10 tips |
How to help your child be responsible?
Responsibility is a difficult concept to assimilate at an early age, especially considering that children have a hard time thinking long term.
However, it is possible to explain and make them understand the importance of doing home and school tasks on their own, without anyone having to go behind them reminding them over and over again that they have to stop playing or wandering and doing it.
Helping your child be responsible is not as easy as sewing and singing, since it requires a lot of patience and nerve control, in addition to knowing how to use a serious but adequate tone, but it can be done. Here we will see some tips to achieve this goal.
1. Assign small tasks
The best way to start is by going simple and easy. A good step to teach little ones the concept of responsibility is assigning them small tasks, appropriate for their age and that do not pose any type of danger.
There are several tasks that can be done at home in which the little ones can help us , although it is very important to take into account their age, especially since not all household chores are equally safe.
For example, for younger children, from 2 to 6 years old, we can assign them to keep their toys, put dirty clothes to wash, make the bed, clear the table ...
For children from 6 to 9 we can assign them to load the dishwasher, put the washing machine, save the purchase, take the dog out (if it is a small breed), change the toilet roll...
For those older than 10 through adolescence, they can be assigned more complex and lengthy tasks , such as cleaning bathrooms, kitchen, dining room and bedroom, changing light bulbs, painting walls, shopping, and watching their siblings. More smalls.
2. To do fun tasks
All children like to have fun and, for this reason, many of them, when they are told that they have to do a task, in addition to seeing it as an imposed obligation, they see it as boring, and prefer not to do it.
But the fun character of children can be harnessed by us adults. We can combat this belief that all household chores are boring by choosing those that are more dynamic as a starting point.
Dealing with them to motivate them is something that, at first, may seem very complicated, but sometimes it is enough to put on background music and dance while they are cleaning the windows, scrubbing the floor and folding the clothes.
3. Find your strengths
We all have a task that we do not like to do, either because we are lazy or because we are not good at it. As adults we try to be responsible and even though we don't like it, we put up with it and end up doing our responsibilities, some leaving it for later and others starting already and getting rid of it as soon as possible.
Obviously, the same thing happens to children. There are many things that they do not like to do because they are lazy or they are not good at it. But in the same way that they have weak points, they also have strengths, and that is where the issue of responsibility can be addressed.
If children are assigned activities that are good for them, even if they are compulsory tasks, they will feel more motivated to do them.
For example, if your child likes to put things in order, or to classify different objects (magazines, books, plates ...) similarly, a very good task for him would be to set the table, help tidy the shelves or put the dishes once it is clean.
The idea is to find that activity that is best for you, so that you can start from that point to help us with the household chores and, with the passage of time, when it is the day to do chores, you already have the activity so internalized that Get down to it automatically.
4. Be an example
If you want your child to be responsible, be an example and you can be one too. Parents are the reference adults for children and, to a lesser extent, for adolescents. Parents are the role model, and for this reason, children learn through vicarious learning.
Do not expect your children to be responsible with their duties and ordering the room if you are one of those who leave the income statement for the last and have the house a block away.
Also, don't expect your children to magically clean the dishes if you haven't explained how to do it.
It may seem like a very simple thing for adults, but this task and many others are one of those that intimidate the little ones, afraid that they are going to do it wrong and do not dare to do it. It is best to teach them how to do it so that they can do it on their own.
Basically, responsibility is taught by being responsible. Do the tasks you have set yourself at once and do not leave them for later.
It is very important that your child knows what your obligations are, in order to see that you are doing them when you do them , in addition to explaining the importance of fulfilling them. For example, if your task is to go shopping, explain why you go, you go so that there is food at home, so you can all eat.
5. Norms and limits
Establishing rules and limits, always appropriate to the age of your child, is highly recommended so that the child grows up learning to be responsible and not breaking them.
Setting rules and their consequences is very useful, since it helps children know, from a very young age, how to behave and what to expect if they act irresponsibly.
It should be noted that the fact of setting these rules and limits is not synonymous with the fact that children and adolescents will magically comply with them.
However, it does help to shape their temperament, especially considering that the violation of these rules will have negative consequences, which will make them appreciate the importance of having followed them.
6. More autonomy, more responsibility
As appropriate and appropriate to his age, it is advisable to leave a certain space for the child or adolescent. Fostering its autonomy is a very good strategy to awaken in it a certain responsibility.
To more autonomy, more responsibility, translated into having to apply problem-solving strategies on their own, learn to organize their lives and respect due time for everything, such as doing homework first and then playing that much-desired video game.
Furthermore, the advantage offered by giving them autonomy is that we do not have to be so aware of them, promoting their own decision criteria. On the contrary, if you are always watching what they do and what they don't do, they will never grow, much less will they be responsible, which will be a real problem in adulthood.
7. Conflict resolution
Giving them greater autonomy implies that children learn to be able to resolve their own conflicts, either with themselves or with others.
The seriousness of the situation and how capable the child must be of solving it must always be taken into account.
It could be a simple quarrel with a brother over a toy, or it could get worse, like a physical fight at school with one of his classmates. In this case it is clear that the parents and teachers of those involved should treat it.
It could be a simple quarrel with a brother over a toy, or it could get worse, like a physical fight at school with one of his classmates. In this case it is clear that the parents and teachers of those involved should treat it.
8 Decision making
Empowering their decision-making capacity their responsibility is enhanced. This is especially useful if, when you have tasks to do, you are given two options to choose from. The freedom to make your own decisions must come according to your age .
Thus, if the child makes a bad decision, but shows that he did not do it with bad intention, but because he was simply wrong, he should not be punished. He must be made to understand that it is through mistakes and example that we learn.
9. Recognize him when he's responsible
As we were saying, responsibility is too abstract an idea for children, which means that, even being responsible, sometimes they are not aware that they are. That is why, especially for the little ones, it is good for adults to know how to recognize when they are being responsible.
If he is told that he has been responsible and that he has done well, the child will see that it does not seem so difficult to do the tasks and obligations. You can even see that you are a responsible person without even thinking about it, doing your homework and tidying up your room automatically.
Thank what you are doing, and reinforce this behavior through positive phrases and congratulations and, very occasionally, some material prize, such as a candy, your favorite food or a video game, always according to what you have done.
But, in turn, it is very important to avoid falling into the dynamic of bribes and the "I promise you". Don't promise him a prize if he does a task he's supposed to do on his own, and don't threaten him if he doesn't.
The award, which is a reinforcer, must be used after you have made the obligation, and without being previously told that you would receive it if you did the task in question.
Bribes are very problematic since the child will always perceive them as a kind of contract: "I do this and you give me my remuneration." The moment we stop giving him the “remuneration”, the child will go on “strike”.
10. Educating in values
Responsibility is a value that is accompanied by commitment, duty and obligation.
It is recommended to value the child so that he learns to value his behavior, how responsible he is and foster in him a greater feeling of self-confidence, security and a better coexistence both with his parents and with his siblings if he has them.
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